They are the expressions we use, the actions we make and the new language we are learning. Written and created only for you and me. Pioneering into uncharted territories, with blank pages waiting to take their place in the binding of our love, our lives. Although sometimes we may encounter a case of writers block, it is our intellect and renewed commitment that begins the book again.

If love were a book mine would be in the first few chapters, eager for the authors (him and I) to write the next word, sentence, paragraph or maybe even chapter. Sometimes the words just seem to write themselves, forming phrases of love with each letter combining to form an expression of love, with its own complete entity, much like him and I.

I tend to get this feeling
In the bottom of my heart
It tells me when to do things
And when something is not smart.

I think they call this instinct
And I tend to follow this
It lead me straight to you
And your tender, loving kiss.

Yet, for some reason lately
It has tended to jump in
And tell me something’s wrong
For some reason you won’t let me in.

Inside your head and heart
Where your thoughts tend to be
I want to hear what they say
When they think of me.

I am learning body language
And particular character traits
Yet when I speak of us
This is something your mind hates.

For it seems to buckle up
And not know what to say
So I sit here and wait patiently
For another day.

When I hope that you can tell me
Exactly what you feel
And that the feelings seen in you
For me are not surreal.

These three words don’t mean enough,
When they are left unsaid.
And they don’t mean enough ,
When from a letter they are read.
These three words are special,
And their meaning should be true.
But I often have to wonder dad,
What these three words mean to you.
For you tell me that you love me,
But is it really how you feel?
Because when you say these words,
They often seem surreal.

Your daughter I will always be,
But I don’t think this is something,
That you have come to see.
For as a child I need the love,
Only a parent can provide,
But on that note I need this parent,
When I need them. By my side.

However life turns out,
Or things may come about.
A piece of my heart will always be,
A precious gift that I give thee.
So as a father your only task,
Is to make the love in this gift,
Grow stronger; and forever it will last.
When now you say “I love you”,
Don’t follow it by goodbye.
For it makes the words seem meaningless,
And it makes them seem like such a lie.

N.B – Written for my dad when I was young and he lived overseas after choosing to leave for a different life. My dad and I are now close and he enjoys spending time with his grandchildren.

Why is it so hard?
To say the words goodbye.
Why is it so hard?
Because I don’t want our love to die.
Why is it so hard?
To look you in the eye.
I tell you I don’t care,
But that’s all just a lie.
You tell everyone you hate me.
But is this really true?
You tell them you don’t care,
That there was no love between me and you.

Things started to change,
As soon as fame came by.
Then all of a sudden
The words of love,
Became a lie.

You turned your back on what we had
But to have the gall to say it’s all my fault,
Was what really made me mad.

I gave you my life
And now it is gone,
You not only took my heart but my confidence and my trust
You have destroyed ME
My life. My love,
And all it stood for.

A time of love
A time of hate
Which one do I feel
Sometimes anger
Sometimes pain
A sea of emotions
Mixed into one big pool of desire
The desire for a betrayal to repent
A feeling of being used
Used, used and abused.

Too many memories from a time long ago
I try so hard to forget
But they won’t go away
They have stayed to haunt me
A ghost that won’t go away
Why can’t I put the past behind me?

When I hear his voice
My heart it does melt
It is so unfair
When you cannot
Control your emotions
For once they are bound
It is so hard to get the knot undone
Especially when the string is only severed at one end
With the other
In hope
Of its constant renewal…

Feel my heart beat
Like a drum.
It beats with yours
To make us one.

Feel my breath upon the air
It blends with yours to show I care.